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Georgia Sentinel ;void(0)) (click to read) Dec. 2003 through May 2004 Columns Dear Betty B: I’m a junior in college and when I was home for the Christmas holidays, I revealed my mother’s worse nightmare. For the last year, I’ve lived an openly gay lifestyle with a partner that I love. My mother told me she had suspected for years but had never been able to admit it. My hometown is very small and she’s asked me to conceal my sexual orientation. She’s also asked that I not bring my partner to visit in her home. It has taken me years to admit my preference. I feel as though I’ve been asked to make a choice between my mother and my partner. I’m a spiritual person and am interested in what you see in the cards.—Forever Blue Dear Forever Blue: Your mother is concerned about what others think. Small towns are unforgiving. Let your partner know how your mother feels. She has a right to know. Also, talk with your mother and explain the situation she’s heaped on you. She has a right to approve of visitors in her home, and you should not put your partner in uncomfortable surroundings. If your mother persists in her line of thinking, then, at that time, make your choice. The cards reveal that you’ll walk the middle line. You will curtail your visits with your mother and be inclined to withdraw away. A word of caution: You will not be happy with that choice. For your peace of mind, you need them both in your life. Your only alternative will be compromise. I’ll leave that choice to you. Good luck. The decisions won’t be easy. Dear Betty B: My best friend is very upset with me. She says I no longer have time for her. When my fiancé and I broke up last year, I spent an enormous amount of time with her. For the last three months, I’ve been dating a young man at work. I like him a lot, and he and I have similar interests; consequently, we spent much of our time together. My girlfriend says I’ve dropped her like a hot potato and that I used her when things were tough. The friendship is on shaky ground. Please consult your cards. I fear the friendship won’t survive. TB Dear TB: No, the friendship is not over. What your girlfriend feels is envy. She’s searching desperately to find someone to love, and she thinks you’re moving on without her. There is someone near her who is interested, but she can’t see the forest for the trees. All she sees is what she views as your betrayal, that you’ve forsaken her in her time of need. She was there for you, but she doesn’t think you’re willing to do the same for her. From what I see in the Tarot spread, she’s not too far off track. You’ve made no time to present your point of view, and she’s feeling left out. Make some time to talk. Friendship is very important, and she is a true and trusted friend. Get the situation out in the open and nourish the friendship. You’ll be happy that you did. Betty Bradford Byers is an author and inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com.  Dear Betty B: My husband and I celebrated the birth of our second child four months ago, and we’re thrilled. The problem is I gained a great deal of weight, and he hasn’t touched me since the birth. He says it has nothing to do with how my body has changed, but it’s that he has no desire. He’s always been attracted to thin women, and I believe that underneath it all, it’s definitely my weight gain. What does your Tarot spread denote?—P.C. in Hapeville Dear P.C.: You are absolutely right, this Tarot spread reveals. Your husband is mentally affected by the change in your body. From what I see, the weight gain is tremendous and is health-affecting for you. You must begin, in earnest, to shed the weight. Please consult your doctor regarding your physical condition before diving head-on into an exercise and/or new eating regimen. I see that you have tried to limit your intake of food, but your failure to lose was because of your limited food choices. Moderation, not elimination, is the key. Your husband will be of much support. He loves you and wants what’s best for you and the marriage. He does need an attitude adjustment regarding his outlook on even the smallest weight gain. He’s very fortunate to be naturally small, but he’s one of few. I see success. Dear Betty B: I’m a college student in Atlanta and look forward to reading your column every week. I love my boyfriend very much, but I suspect he’s not being faithful. One of my friends told me she saw him out with someone else a few nights ago, and from their actions, the relationship was not platonic. I have not approached him with this accusation because, if it’s true, I would be completely devastated. I have spent every moment in agony since I found out. Should I let him know what I’ve been told or should I continue to keep this to myself?—Tormented Tania Dear Tania: Why torment yourself? Let him know immediately what you have been told. Ask, not accuse, and, from what I see, you will be told the truth. You must never open yourself up for come what may. You’re stronger than that. Yes, you might be devastated, but time will heal the wound. My concern for you is that you would even consider remaining in a relationship that would be detrimental to your wellbeing. Discuss this matter immediately and move on with your life, regardless of what you find. Good luck. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My family reunion will be held in our city for the third time this year, and I’ve been voted the coordinator of events. This will be the third time I’ve held this position. It’s a job I enjoy but one I have done alone for the last two times. We’ve always voted a committee to help pull all the pieces together, but I have been the only person to follow through with any plans. When the votes were cast last year, I voiced by concerns about failing commitments but had many who came forth to offer their assistance. The reunion is three months away, and I’m, again, the only person who has done anything. My husband said that I should send a notice to the family, withdrawing for lack of support. I love my family and the activities of the reunion and still feel some obligation to seeing this through. What direction do you see in the cards?—Left in the Lurch Dear Left in the Lurch: Your problem is one I hear often. Since you’ve made the obligation to head up this event, again and feel some sense of responsibility, unlike the others, you should carry it through. Make your position known at the next voting session and stick to your decision. It’s a family reunion, not yours alone, and it’s past time for others to do their share. After all, it is a family affair. I know it’s no consolation, but many others are plagued by this dilemma. Good luck and happy reunion. Dear Betty B: I’m a freshman in high school and want to become a part of the cheering squad but don’t feel as if I’m as pretty or as well coordinated as the others. I’m outgoing, have friends on the squad, and would like to be a part of all the fun. My girlfriends are encouraging, but I’m unsure because of my physical awkwardness and my average looks. What do you recommend?—J.B. in Atlanta Dear J.B.: Your girlfriends should take you through all the drills, and you should be able to run through them by rote. From what the cards reveal, as with everything, with ample practice and determination, you will be able to make the cut. You’re more adept and more attractive than you realize and need a few successes to shore up your confidence. This will be a very good year. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I’ve just visited your web site and see that your next book, The Arcana Connection, will be released next month. Since I’ve read The Big Payback, I’m anxious to see what happens to the three Atlanta designers in this sequel. I was born and bred in Atlanta and hail your tribute to our great city. My boyfriend has some of Edmond’s cruel characteristics, and I’m wondering if he would be considered a sadist? He can be very caring and considerate, but he can turn on a dime and become abusive and controlling. What do your cards denote?—Agonizing in Atlanta Dear Agonizing: Information on sadistic behavior is readily available in bookstores, libraries, the internet, etc., and from what I see, your boyfriend is an escalating sadist. Get out now before it’s too late. You and he are both in need of help. You have allowed him to usurp your energy and gain control of your life. At this stage, you will not be able to relinquish his control without therapeutic help. You have had an ongoing need to be dependent and controlled, even before he entered your life. Your relatives are greatly concerned for your wellbeing. Leaving this man will be a monumental step, but you must sever your relationship immediately or you will be forever under his command. Good luck and God bless. Dear Betty B: I have just begun a very interesting relationship with a young woman who has just turned eighteen. I’m twenty-three and feel as though I’m robbing the cradle, but I’ve always been attracted to younger girls. My mother greatly disapproves of our relationship, but she has never been happy with anyone I’ve ever dated. I moved back home two years ago when my father died and have been most unhappy since doing so. My dilemma is that mother is afraid to live by herself. I’ve threatened to move on several occasions, but she implored me to stay each time. What do you see in the cards regarding this matter?—H.T. Dear H.T.: Your mother will not be happy to see you with someone else. She’s using her fear as an excuse to keep you near. In her mind, no one will ever measure up to her expectations for you. Since I believe you’re an only child, she feels as though you’re her last link to happiness. She’s still relatively young, and I see another relationship waiting to happen for her. She in no way wants to see you unhappy; she simply lacks the confidence to forge her future. Take the first step and tell her how you feel. She won’t be ecstatic, but she will be forced to see the light and acquiesce. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My mother-in-law is an absolute terror. She has resented me from day one of my relationship with her son. To make matters worse, she insists on including my husband’s former wife in all the family gatherings she engineers. She invited my husband and me for Easter dinner last year, and my husband’s ex-wife was the guest of honor. My husband is greatly dismayed and refuses to communicate with his mother. I have tolerated her because she is my mother-in-law, but the Easter fiasco was the last straw. My husband contends her decision to include his former wife is to cause dissension between the two of us. How should we handle this matter?—Bewildered Dear Bewildered: From the information I have gathered from your letter and the Tarot cards, you have been more than cooperative. Your husband’s non-communication does nothing to resolve the problem. He should take the lead and set aside some time to let her know his feelings. Although he cannot re-direct her activities with his ex-wife, he should ask that he and you not be included whenever she decides to entertain her. Should the problem persist, he should feel perfectly at ease in refusing the invitation. Intermingling of former and current wives seems to an accepted practice in some families, but in yours, it undermines the whole affair. Your husband should face the music now. Dear Betty B: While visiting my in-laws last month, I saw you at a Book Expo in Palm Coast, FL, where you were the featured author. I was fascinated by your presentation and ended up buying all four of your books. I have just completed reading the last one, The Whitlow Sanction: Volume I and must say I thoroughly enjoyed reading them all. I know that you’re contractually unable to reveal a lot of the facts surrounding the Whitlow story, but is there such a group as the Whitlow followers? It’s a scary proposition at best.—A New-Found Decatur Fan Dear Decatur Fan: As you have stated, my comments on the story, other than what I have already written, are restricted. I leave the entire Whitlow saga to your imagination. What I can reveal is that nearly every character in the novel is based on a living person. The rest is left up to you. It’s always gratifying to have my work appreciated. Thanks for your support. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My neighbor, a twenty-seven-year-old female, has caused much confusion in our neighborhood because she cuts her yard in her skimpiest bikini, and the women are up in arms. The husbands and other males have voiced their opinions, and they see nothing inappropriate with her behavior. I have lived in this neighborhood for the last twelve years, and we have rarely had a problem. Several of the Neighborhood Watch officers (our only formal organization) have confronted her with this problem, but she says she is well within her rights to wear whatever she wants on her property. She has been most un-cooperative and disagreeable. We can’t seem to come to any consensus on how to handle this problem. What do your cards reveal?—Fed Up in Atlanta Dear Fed Up: The Tarot card spread proves to be most interesting. It seems that this woman enjoys the attention her actions have caused and is bent on capturing even more. The key seems to be in withdrawing the complaints and dismissing her exhibitionism. This may prove to be a challenge since the men seem to be her greatest fans. In truth, from what the cards reveal, only a handful of males think her behavior is acceptable. Have no fear, this situation is nearing a resounding conclusion, one that most will find appropriate and just. It’s time to relinquish the headache and move on with your lives. Justice will be meted out. Dear Betty B: I am a twenty-three-year-old male who has just graduated from college. I have been on my job for three weeks and believe I have a problem with my immediate supervisor. She has indicated to me on several occasions that we meet after work to discuss a new work project that I have requested. Whenever I have asked to meet with her during working hours, she has refused because of various reasons e.g., has a meeting or other commitment. Even though she has not said anything to lead me to believe that she’s personally interested in me, her eye contact and demeanor have suggested otherwise. What do you see in the cards regarding her feelings for me? JJ in Decatur Dear JJ: The cards reveal that your suspicions are correct. This situation, if not handled properly and promptly, will escalate into problems you will regret. Your supervisor is unhappy in a personal relationship and is hesitant to end it for reasons unrelated to you. Her attraction to you is, in large part, because she sees in you what she desires from her friend—sensitivity and caring. Let her know that you are unable to meet with her outside of work. You need not discuss the details of why that is, but she will decipher your meaning and move on. Trust me. She is well aware that she is trekking on forbidden ground. Dear Lying: You are not responsible for his actions, so you need not continue with the deceptions. You are close to an overload. Seek professional help. You deserve so much more. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I recently attended a family funeral and was devastated by the lack of respect that was given to my current wife. My former wife, who still maintains close relations with my mother, was, in my opinion, a shameless vixen. She was overly flirtatious with every man who came within arms’ reach. When she became overbearing with me, I let her know in no uncertain terms that I was no longer interested in her. My diatribe was overheard by those within earshot of us, and she left the reception in tears. I say, “good riddance,” but my mother contends I was unduly rude and cantankerous. What do you see in the cards?—DL Dear DL: From what I see in the Tarot spread, your former wife was deliberately being underhanded and impolite in order to embarrass your wife. She wanted e in the know to believe that you are still interested in her. When her ploy backfired, she was devastated and highly upset. She is still in love with you, and your mother’s friendship has kept her dream of recapturing your feelings alive. She will do whatever is necessary to remain involved in your life. Your mother has nurtured the relationship because she is able to control your ex-wife and her actions. Your current wife is very independent and secure, and your mother resents your devotion to her. You have made the first step, but you must let your mother know of your displeasure with her acceptance of the disrespect your former wife has shown. Your mother will initially balk, but your continued love and interaction with her mean more than your former wife’s ongoing relationship and contentment. This will not be an easy row to hoe. Good luck and God bless in resolving this matter. Dear Lost in Southwest Atlanta: You have made the right choice. Although this will not be your finest hour, it will be your most courageous effort. You need no further stress or distraction. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I have just discovered that my wife has been having an affair with one of my long-time friends. I found a handwritten note from him to her expressing his love and devotion as well as many intimate details about their frequent trysts. From all indications, their relationship has been ongoing for some time. It was a devastating discovery. I confronted him immediately, and he admitted that he was in love with her and had been contemplating leaving his wife whom he has been unhappily married to for years. To say the least, I was livid and uncontrollable, and in order to hurt him, I informed his wife. Both families have been torn completely apart, and thankfully, no children were involved on either side. Recently, my wife has apologized and admitted that they made a mistake, and she now wants to resume our marriage. I still love her and want to take her back, but I don’t believe I could ever trust her. What do your cards show?—Lost in Georgia Dear Lost in Georgia: Your Tarot spread contained an emphatic message: Don’t involve yourself again. You will have trouble on all fronts. Not that your wife is insincere about her feelings, it’s that you will be unable to forgive her infidelity, and you will forever hold it against her. That distrust would further damage your relationship and cause you infinitely more trouble. Let it go. This route will not be easy, but it will be best for both your and her protection. Good luck and God bless. Dear JJ: You are right on target, and you handled the situation with much aplomb. He would never have believed you, and your children are safe and sound. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I’m in a large book club, and we’ve just finished reading The Whitlow Sanction: Volume I, and we were overwhelmed by the story. Although a bit long, we were mesmerized by all that occurred, and as you’ve probably heard before, we would love to separate truth from fiction, although you state clearly you signed a contractual agreement to protect the facts. All we can do is say, “Wow!” It was a fantastic tale. We’re reading both Wired for Murder and Murder Unwired during the fall and winter and want to know when will The Whitlow Sanction: Volume II be released? You have an eager following. Keep up the good work.—Your New Fan Club Dear Fan Club: I am truly honored and pleased that your club enjoyed The Whitlow Sanction: Volume I. It was a long time in creating, but it was a labor of love. You are right, I am unable to reveal anything regarding the facts in this book, but I did create a work of fiction, although I collaborated with a person who wishes to remain anonymous. The Whitlow Sanction: Volume II will be on the bookshelves in 2005, but please look for my next book, The Arcana Connection before summer’s end. It’s the sequel to The Big Payback. Thanks for your wonderful comments. Dear Betty B: I wrote you a few months ago and told you about my relationship with my obsessive fiancé. He was exceptionally jealous and suspicious, and your Tarot card spread revealed that I should return his ring and move on with my life because someone close by would be a more suitable companion. I gave the relationship some time to improve, and it did initially. Within weeks, he was back to his old suspicious nature in which he wanted to monitor my every move. At that point, I returned the ring. This follow-up letter is to let you know that I found that other companion, and I have never been more content. This is a salute to you and Tarot cards. You gave me good advice.—P.B. Dear P.B.: You’ve made my day. Good luck with your new companion. It’s always a joy to hear from a happy reader. Dear K.R.: Don’t compromise your reputation and career. You were in a difficult situation, and your choices were not the best, but they do not have to go on. Continue at your own peril. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My father is gravely ill, and I am the only one of three children who have spent years looking after him and his interests. Now, that he has been given only weeks to live, my brother and sister, both younger than I, have hovered constantly. I fully believe that this new-found devotion is a ploy to strip his home of his possessions. He spent years in the real estate business and was able to live comfortably and well. He has accumulated many valuables, and I suspect they’re not at his bedside because of their love and devotion but for material gain. As far as I’m concerned, they can have it all. My husband and I have everything we need. It hurts me deeply to see them clamor for all he has without an ounce of remorse for the years they never called or came to see him. When they discover that he has left everything to me, I’m afraid our family will be splintered for years to come. At this stage, I’m trying to decide whether to give them the contents of his home in order to prevent further dissension. He has stated in his will that I am the sole benefactor for his estate. What do you see in the cards regarding this matter?—T.J. Dear T.J.: Your father has made his wishes known. He has made you his sole heir, and, from what I see in the cards, you will give them many valuables, but they will never be content. Your family will be forever splintered regardless of what you do. It appears that you’re willing to share with them to appease your conscience. You have done nothing wrong; therefore, you should not do anything to gain acceptance or assuage the feelings of those who are obviously self-serving. Good luck and God bless. Dear Coming Home: You made a mistake. Don’t compound the error. Stay where you are because you will not win. Now is not your time. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I have been involved with the mother of my six-year-old daughter for eight years, and he has just asked me to marry him for the first time. I have waited for this for years, but for some reason, I refused his proposal. My daughter loves him very much and would be ecstatic to know of the possibility of being a part of a “real” family. My feelings for him have changed. Not that I don’t care for him anymore, it’s just that we have grown apart. I’ve continued my education and recently graduated from a local community college. I have also been promoted several times over the last few years. He has remained stagnant in his job as has no ambition to do anything else. I’ve read every one of your columns and am interested in what your Tarot cards might reveal. Did I make a mistake in refusing to marry him?—BJ in Atlanta Dear BJ: The Tarot cards reveal several things that are pertinent to your decision. First, it appears that you are in love with someone else, a fact you did not reveal. Plus, I see that you would never be satisfied with the caliber of lifestyle you would live with him. You aspire for so much more. It has been some time since you have had any meaningful feelings for him and have thought often of ending the relationship. Your only connection now is your child; therefore, you would make a monumental mistake should you marry this man. He is aware of how you feel and is afraid of losing you. That is why he has finally popped the question. I see no great love on either side, but he does love his daughter and will be instrumental in her life regardless of what you decide. You should dally no longer. End the relationship immediately and move on with your future plans. I see that you have many. Dear Betty B: I am sixteen years old and recently attended my family reunion in Florida. I met a slew of relatives I’ve never seen before, but there was one distant cousin who attracted my attention. The three-day reunion was a fun affair, and I spent most of my time with this eighteen-year-old male cousin and his sixteen-year-old sister. My father and mother detected my interest in him and when he called me recently, my father refused to let me talk with him. Is this relationship too close to pursue?—Family Feud Dear Family Feud: An unequivocal yes. The cards reveal that he has a great interest in you, and should you respond to his advances, you will be devastated. Your parents are fully aware of both your feelings and the consequences should you be allowed to communicate further with him. You must heed their advice. Nothing more needs to be said. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I have been seeing a married man for over a year, and he has told me many times that he is in love with me. I love him desperately, but I don’t understand why he has not left his wife since he says that nothing remains of the marriage. When questioned about why he has not ended the connection, he says she’s mentally fragile and would possibly harm herself at this time. They have no children. I know that men often say they no longer love their wives when they are involved with someone else, but I truly believe he loves me. This is a desperation tactic since I’m not a devotee of any New Age beliefs, but I am interested in what your Tarot cards would advise. Is he stringing me along or has he told me the truth?—Whistling Dixie Dear Whistling Dixie: I find it most interesting that you don’t share “any New Age beliefs”, but you’re interested in what the Tarot cards might reveal. But, that’s another topic entirely, and I won’t pursue it at this setting. Here is what I see: Your married lover does care for you, but he has no intention of leaving his wife. She is as mentally stable as you are, and she will not injure herself—not now or ever because of anything he might do. That must be made absolutely clear. He is a very charismatic man and, from what I can tell, exceptionally handsome; therefore, he is accustomed to having his way. He wants you both and has succeeded quite well in that endeavor over the past twelve months. He’s the one who’s whistling Dixie, and should you not see the light, he’ll continue his string-along. So, it’s up to you to set him straight. You’ve become addicted to his feel-good maneuvers, a tactic he’s perfected, but I have faith in you. Do keep me posted. We have much more to pursue. Dear Tee: We both know the truth, but you’re the one who must intervene. It’s a decision you’ll find hard to make, but you must in order to regain your sense of self. You have the strength, but will you use it is another matter. I see you will eventually, but, for now, it’s your cross to bear. God bless and peace. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: First, let me say that I look forward to reading your column each week and thoroughly enjoy them. I’ve noticed that as a male, I seem to be in the minority as far as your questioners go, but I am in need of your advice or rather the knowledge you gain from your Tarot cards. I have been happily married for eight years and truly love my wife. We have two children, four and six, and my wife is a very beautiful and desirable woman. Since the birth of our youngest child, she has reluctantly participated as a wife, and I am unable to understand why she has turned a cold shoulder on our intimate life. She has gained a little weight, but it has not hampered her looks or desirability, but she contends that it has. Nothing I can do or say can change her state of mind, and we are both miserable at the turn our marriage has taken. She sleeps a lot and is in a constant state of depression. What can I do to help her resolve her inner demons and restore the feelings we used to share?—Down and Out in the Big A Dear Down and Out: From what I see, your wife is in need of medical attention. Not only is she unusually despondent, she feels that her life is at its lowest ebb. There seems to be a chemical imbalance in her system that can be brought under control through proper treatment. Her medical doctor should be contacted immediately. With the help of the appropriate medication, she should be in a more loving frame of mind. This is a common complaint, and one that that can be solved without undue or unusual fanfare. The cards show that you both are suffering immensely, but should she act in the manner suggested, you will both soon be back on track. Let me know how her progress goes. Dear Betty B: This is not a typical question for your column, but we know of several local book clubs that are waiting the publication of your next book, The Arcana Connection. My book club members talk about The Big Payback in every monthly meeting, and when you attended our book club discussion, you anticipated its sequel (The Arcana Connection) to be released this month. We can hardly wait for the book and to see you again for its discussion. When will it be available for purchase?—A Fan Club for Life Dear Fan Club: I’ve received this question from a number of folks and thought I would include your letter for response. The Arcana Connection is now available for purchase at my publisher’s web site below, and, at that site, you can also read its Prologue as well as excerpts from my other four books. Be sure to contact me well in advance of your scheduled book club discussion. Looking forward to seeing all of you. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I’ve followed your column with interest since it began in December 2003, and I believe I have a problem that is probably faced by many. I am a mother of two beautiful children and have a husband whom I love very much. We have been married for seven and a half years, and he is still my Knight in Shining Armor; however, over the last several years, I put on considerable weight (60 pounds to be exact). My last New Year’s resolution was to lose the weight and spruce up my dowdy appearance. Through the grace of God, I’ve shed sixty-five pounds this year, and, from what others tell me, I now look better than ever. My husband has yet to offer me one ounce of support or compliment me on my “stick-to-it-tive-ness”. He has also not commented on the improvement in my appearance. The weight loss inspired me considerably, and I have gone where I never dreamed I’d go. I now have a new hair color, haircut, and have recently sought out the assistance of an experienced make-up artist, and I feel and look brand new, but my marriage has not improved. In fact, it has regressed. I thought my husband’s waning interest was as a result of my excess physical baggage, but seemingly I was wrong. There is no more that I can do. I am ecstatic about the new me, and I refuse to be intimidated by him or anyone else. I’ve resigned myself to the inevitable…his continued rejection or, God forbid, the breakup of our marriage, but I will never retreat. Please help. What do you see in the Tarot cards regarding the problems I face?—Barbra in Atlanta Dear Barbra: You paint a vivid picture, one I’ve seen many times before. You are to be commended for you made your plan and worked it, something many of us would love to do. Your tenacity has paid off in spades, and you must not allow a disgruntled, insecure roadblock to direct your course. The Tarot cards clearly show that your husband is grossly disappointed in himself and fears your rejection. His fear of losing you is the primary reason he is unable to applaud your success. His lack of self-confidence is a long-term affliction, and one he has not been able to conquer. He does need professional help, but this he knows, yet he will never seek it. His background hinders his perception as it does with many others, but he has to fight his own thrashing demons. You have and will continue to suffer the consequences of his paranoia for the time being, but you will eventually take up the gauntlet and win. That prognosis, however, is for another time. Congratulations on outlining and following your star and for allowing nothing to deter your progress. Your destiny will take you far. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My husband and I are avid readers of your column and usually agree with most of your Tarot card revelations, but he and I have hit a brick wall. The old adage that opposites attract holds true for us. I am a vibrant and uncontrollable extrovert, and he is an intense, very laidback introvert, and we’ve brought much to each other’s lives. The only thing that I think sticks in his craw is my outgoing personality, specifically with my male friends. He feels that I should downplay my gregarious nature because he believes it is taken for interest by the male friends I have. I respect his viewpoint, but he is way off base. Not one of my male friends has ever approached me in any disrespectful manner. I believe he’s jealous of the male friendships I have. I have never been unfaithful. I love him dearly, but this has been an ongoing disagreement that I don’t think we will ever resolve. I assure you, none of my men friends mean anything personally to me. Why should I have to change my personality because he feels they take my friendliness for interest? Just as he, they know of my congenial sensibilities. This is the only area in our relationship that has caused me the slightest concern. I believe he is trying to instill his introverted viewpoint on my extroverted spirit. I don’t want to be restricted, and, to be fair, I would never impose anything on him that would interfere with his tendency to avoid our social relations. What do your cards foretell? We look forward to reading your column, and I believe whatever you foresee, we will both accept. I’m at the end of my patience with this ongoing obsession.—Maxine Dear Maxine: The very last word in your correspondence hits the nail on the head. Obsession. It’s also a clue to why this situation has gone on for so long…it’s something with which you’re both afflicted, you to a lesser degree. Your cards attest to the fact even though you an inveterate free spirit, you have trouble dealing with the here and now. You shy away from anything of a confrontation nature. Burying your head in the sand is your means of avoiding a disagreement. Just as someone with an addictive personality behaves, you, too, are mired in the make-believe. You must address this situation immediately, not only for his ravaged self-esteem, but for your sanity as well. Marriage is a vow of compromise. However difficult, you are not alone; therefore, you must consider his viewpoint, but he, too, has that same responsibility. Your concern is just one of the challenges most opposites face. From what I surmise for your cards, you are the most adaptable, but he’s fully aware of the peril his beliefs impose. He’s afraid of losing you, and this is a fallacy you must dispel. I see that you both love each very much but have been unable to release your preconceived notions of what a marriage entails. This is not a one-way street. You both have to make considerable adjustments in order to work through this ongoing turmoil. It would be a snap for you, nothing that you cannot live with, but he has to be aware of your concession. Communication is usually the key, and you both have failed to reach each other. When you can relinquish your prior notions, it will all come together. The cards reveal that it will all work out. The Sun spreads its protection, but it’s up to you two to absorb its warmth. Good luck, and God bless. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspiration speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com , and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I have recently went through a break up of a 3 yr relationship and am confused and don’t know where to start to pick up the pieces. I love him and I know he loves me but sometimes I feel that love is not enough. Three years may not seem like a long time but in a gay relationship this is equivalent to 10 years in a heterosexual relationship. Sometimes I feel that we will eventually work things out and find our way back to each other but at other times I am not so sure. What should I do?—ConfusedNTampa Dear Confused: Your waiting around for something to happen between the two of you is an exercise in futility should things remain on their current path. I see that your partner is currently engaged in another relationship and had been doing so for a while, while progressing with you. At this time, you are not aware of the total picture and won’t have the opportunity to see everything you desire, but even though you’ve been deeply hurt, you will take the bull by the horns and come out on top. I see good tidings for you all around. Business is going to take off with a bang, and the sun shall shine once again in your life. A word of caution…you need to find a proper balance between your head and your heart. You’ve always followed the direction of your heartstrings, it seems, but you will begin to analyze your dealings, clarify before you venture too far ahead, and that’s a very good thing. You will find this new approach to be a saving grace and one that will prove to be your ongoing mode of operation. Hold on. A new day will soon emerge. I wish you peace. Dear Blown Away: All things in your life have been pruned significantly, but you’re about to break into the light of day. Move ahead with vim and vigor for you’re on the verge of reaping the benefits of everything you have sown. Expect a turnaround of your heart and a desire to pursue what you didn’t want before. Look out! You’ll shine as you never have and be the master of your fate. It’s always a pleasure to see such glory. Enjoy to your heart’s content. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My best friend has posed an impossible situation on my marriage. I have always known that she found my husband attractive, but during the last few months, she met him several times for drinks after work and a full-blown affair ensued. This I found out recently by accident. I overheard my friend confide in a co-worker that she was helplessly in love, and she named my husband outright. Not only was I appalled, but I was visibly shaken that she had betrayed our friendship and played me falsely. When I confronted her with what I’d heard, she admitted that she had been “seeing” him for several months and that he loved her too. To say the least, a nasty scene resulted, and we have not spoken since, which makes for a very unpleasant working environment. My husband also admitted his involvement with her, but he said it is I whom he loves. He’s asked my forgiveness, but I’m unable to put the two of them together out of my mind. We have no children, and I’m considering a divorce or legal separation. What do your cards reveal?—Unwilling to Forgive Dear Unwilling: You are deeply hurt and rightly so, but your husband does truly love you. Your “friend” made a deliberate attempt to lure him, and she succeeded. Your husband was drawn into her web of deceit because of her carefully veiled ploy for his attention. Not unlike many, men and women included, when lavished with undue admiration and notice, your husband was hard pressed to turn a blind eye to her skillful manipulations. This is not to say that he’s free of any responsibility in this matter, but it does attest to his philandering weakness. This you know from prior entanglements. I see your marriage surviving for now, but you will never forgive him for this particular transgression. Good luck and God bless. Dear Whipple Wind: I will not reveal the details of your situation since others know of your predicament, but you’re right, you are entirely to blame for this “abhorring abomination” as you so aptly put it. But all is not lost. Your overwhelming determination to set things straight will further shock and devastate, but as time goes on, you will be forgiven and eventually accepted back into the fold. Move ahead immediately with your plans to clarify and apologize to all involved. At this point, all I can offer you is peace. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My husband and I have drawn a line in the sand. We’re in different corners of the political arena. We agree on some things, but we have never had a consensus on anything political, and that upsets me. To be of African American origin whose parents were poor, rural, and southern, I am greatly angered whenever he espouses his conservative, right-wing viewpoints. Our different perspectives on this year’s presidential candidates have blown our whole relationship right of the water, and I see no way to overcome it. In fact, I don’t want to overcome it. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t want to share my life with anyone who has been as severely hindered as he by the very likes of those he so staunchly supports. This may sound trivial to many, but it has become a source of major dissention in our home. What do your cards foretell about the outcome of our marriage?—Down and Out in Decatur Dear Down and Out: I see a marriage that has been fraught with problems from its onset. Not only don’t you have the same political outlook, you two are on opposite poles in most things that matter. You had grave reservations about the marriage before you made your vows but proceeded because of your public announcement. That was your first mistake. As both of you already know, this marriage is doomed. I see no point in skirting the issue. You’ve been at this stage before, and because of convenience and family issues, you elected to stay mired in an unhappy union. I am obliged to tell you that should things remain on their current path, you will be separated by year’s end and divorced by spring. I would normally recommend counseling for you both, but at this juncture, you’re both ready to move in different directions. Good luck in whatever decision you make. Dear Blue: Carry on as before. You won’t have to confront the issue. All secrets will come to the fore in time, and you will know what to do. You have much strength, but you will want to shirk your duty. There are others now involved, and you are as responsible as she. From what I see, you will honor and conquer. Let me hear from you. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My boyfriend and I have just finished reading your newest book, The Arcana Connection, and we both enjoyed it immensely. We had a heated conversation about Juanita’s viewpoint on marriage, a viewpoint in which I strongly agree. I’ve seen firsthand how a seemingly indestructible, long-term, loving relationship can head south in no time flat. I was up close and personal to my parents’ struggles after their marriage which occurred when I was twelve. Both of them attested to the fact that the legal contract was the single deterrent to their state of long-term bliss. At this time, my fiancé is on the verge of moving on without me. He told me that in no uncertain terms. We both graduated from college this year, and he wants to cement the relationship as soon as possible. I feel that it would be just that—a cemented state in which I will lose my independence and end up resenting him. Please help! What do your cards reveal?—C.A. in Tampa Dear D.A.: You should seek professional help. Not all marriages end in shambles as did your parents’ union. I’ve known many long-term marriages that have endured and have done so in good stead. From what I’ve gleaned from your Tarot spread, once you’ve aired your fears and insecurities, you will be more amenable to tying the proverbial knot. And, you’ll do just fine, but now is not the time. From all indications, your boyfriend will be extremely supportive and will prove to be a loving and gracious companion. It’s always gratifying to hear that my books are being enjoyed. Stay tuned next year for Juanita’s upcoming actions in the final book of the “Payback” trilogy, Wired Straight. Dear Mr. Blue: You’ve brought wonderful news. I’m happy to hear that you’re nearing your destination. Happy trails to you and your newly intended. Let me know the outcome. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker . Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www. BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My oldest sister and I have never been able to see eye-to-eye. In my opinion, she is an overbearing, ungrateful bore. She has always been the most aggressive of all my siblings; therefore, she has been allowed to single-handedly make crucial decisions regarding our family and our overall well being. Because of her domineering stance, others have been reluctant to share their opinions, and I vowed at the turn of the year that I would never again allow her to intimidate me. At a recent family gathering, she took it upon herself to make a decision that most did not support. When I told her how I felt, she became irrational and argumentative, but I held my ground. Needless to say, I was left to fend for myself, but that did not bother me. She and I had a major confrontation, and she has not invited me to her home for this year’s Thanksgiving dinner. My family has been split apart because of our disagreement, and many have refused her invitation to Thanksgiving dinner. I am greatly disturbed by this turn of events. Should I apologize to my sister in order to set things straight with the rest of the family? Should I do so, it would not be a heart-felt decision. I’m in desperate need of your Tarot card advice.—Unwilling to Take it Anymore Dear Unwilling: Just as you have outlined, should you apologize to your sister, she will know immediately that it did not come from your heart; therefore, your apology is not answer. From what I see, your sister has been ostracized by others in both her work and social environments because of her unwillingness to compromise. To be fair to her, she is a product of her early experiences. She has never known or been taught basic interaction skills. Her opinions have always been accepted without consideration of how others felt. I see her learning the hard way. Most of people in your family who have refused her invitation will not appear whether you apologize or not. They have long wanted to confront her regarding her arrogant manner, and you have given them the courage they have sorely lacked. This will be a dismal Thanksgiving for her, but one she will never forget. Because of your act of defiance and the backing of your family, she will be forced to make some major concessions. Don’t be surprised when she issues you a long overdue, sincere apology for the error of her ways. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on the web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I have just finished reading a national best-selling novel and find myself suspended between my beliefs and non-beliefs. This book, although a work of fiction, has opened my mind to a number of religious principles that I’ve held because of my traditional leanings, but it has also unraveled a string of questions regarding the Bible and its teachings. Many of the doctrines included in the book are based on fact; many have been embellished to create an interesting story. I am a true believer in the idea that nothing enters our lives until we’re ready, but my question to you is, how does the knowledge I’ve acquired from studying the innuendo and symbolism contained in this book relate to me? Any help your Tarot cards can shed would be most appreciated.—Constantly Seeking Dear Constantly Seeking: I’ve had several references of late to the book in which I believe you refer, and for each inquirer, the answer has been the same. It, too, holds true for you. You’re at a stage in your life where your innate beliefs are ready to be explored. From what I’ve gleaned from the cards, you have always held a disdain and distrust for beliefs that could not be concretely proven. You are what some label a sensor—a person who relies on your senses before making a final decision. Even as a youngster, you had never had the proverbial “mustard seed of faith”; therein lies your confusion. Now is your time to dig in your heels, investigate everything you remotely question. This novel has merely served as a vehicle to propel you in your quest…help you see beyond the maze. From what I can tell, you have an insatiable desire for knowledge, a desire that will prove to be an ongoing thirst you will never fulfill but will forever undertake. You’re being led on a mind-bending exploration, one that will open up a whole new universe and help you discern where you’re being directed. Good luck on your pursuit. You will never be more enamored. Dear RFJ: You are being sorely tested. Your hardships are because you’ve veered from your course. Once you realign your mission, you will discern the light. You are very close to the revelation that you seek. Keep your focus, and you will be guided by fate. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her website at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: This Christmas is fast approaching, and I dread every minute of the hubbub it entails. From soup to nuts, Christmas is the most celebrated and destructive holiday of all. How well I understand the morbid depression, the loneliness, and the self-inflicted pressures this season brings. I don’t mean to be a modern-day scrooge, but Christmas at my parents’ home this year will be one I will detest because of the heartache my sister has caused me. Everything that I have pursued, men included, my sister has worked feverishly to acquire. In most cases, she has succeeded. Nine months ago, she married the love of my life, a victory I’m positive she holds dear. I found out later that on the eve of my engagement, my sister seduced and enthralled my former boyfriend, so much so that they were engaged the following week. When they delivered the news, my sister was overly emotional and told me how devastated they were when their attraction could not be denied. “It was nothing planned nor was it a long-term romance,” she’d said. Her new fiancé followed up by saying how sorry they were for the painful situation they had caused, not only for me, but for both families too. Needless to say, I don’t think I can face the two of them or the pity reflected in my relatives’ faces. What advice do your Tarot cards offer?—Aimless Amy Dear Aimless Amy: From what I’ve read in your cards, your family is as distraught as you by your sister’s longstanding antics. Your parents are very distressed, and your sister has been admonished by many of your relatives, including your father and mother. There is still some doubt whether she and your former boyfriend will attend the Christmas celebration this year. Neither has the nerve to face the music because of the hostility they have received. To make matters worse, your former boyfriend is on the verge of breaking their engagement. He now realizes that it is you whom he really loves, but he does not have the backbone to address the issue. From where I sit and from what I see, you have been spared a disastrous series of events. Thank your lucky stars, or more aptly, the blessed Almighty, for removing you from a lifetime of grief. No matter what you have suffered at the hands of these two, it could have been oh so much worse. Dear Newly Departed: Hurray for you! Nothing was as it seemed. Move on without remorse. Many good tidings await. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her website at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com Dear Betty B: My book club has just finished reading Murder Unwired, and we were fascinated by the whole novel, especially the ending chapters. We salute you and your books. We are a newly formed group, and our first book was Wired for Murder which we dearly loved. We have heard that at least a portion of all of your books is true, but we’ve never seen an acknowledgement from you that that is the case. I know this has nothing to do with your Tarot card readings, but to put all of our questions to rest, do you write from personal experience or knowledge, and do your books contain elements of truth?—MT Dear MT: All of my books are labeled as purely fiction; however, that does not mean that there is not some element of truth in them. Practically all of the characters in The Whitlow Sanction: Volume I are real, but the facts surrounding each character have been created. It, too, is a work of fiction. So, to answer your question, I base a small portion of each book on some historical fact, but the majority of my work is a fictitious account of my imagination; therefore, my books are classified as fiction. Hope this helps with your club members’ questions. Dear Betty B: I wrote you recently concerning a love affair between my wife and one of my long-term friends. In fact, my letter and your response appeared in your July 22, 2004 column. My friend was also married, and when I informed his wife of his affair with my spouse, she left him immediately, and both marriages ended in divorce. I’m writing to let you know that the tables have turned. My friend’s wife and I consoled each other for several months, and we have news to reveal. She and I are now personally involved, and I could not have found a more supportive partner. We have agreed to take the relationship slowly, and we are enjoying every moment of getting to know each other. Our former spouses are no longer together. It seems their relationship was based on the adrenalin flow of the secrecy required. When they were free to pursue each other openly, they chose to split apart. You were right about no longer trusting my former spouse. Thanks to you, I’ve moved on and up. Your cards were right on the money.—Found in Georgia Dear Found: I see you were lost, but now you’re found. How wonderful to hear of your success. You are truly deserving of the peace you’ve found. Thanks for keeping us informed. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her website at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com Dear Betty B: This is the first time I’ve felt the need to write a columnist to express my feelings, but I have no other choice. I am a wife and mother of a young son who is three years old. My husband delivered a surprising blow two days before Thanksgiving—he wanted a divorce and was leaving immediately. He had fallen in love with a woman he’d met by chance last year, and he was moving in with her. We have had a few problems in our eight-year marriage, but nothing I would consider unusual or something we could not work out. When I tried to discuss his sudden departure, he said there was no need because he was no longer in love with me. He left immediately with one previously packed bag. He said he would be financially responsible for our son and would continue his duties as a father. I’m writing you during the most difficult time in my life, right in the midst of the holiday season, and I would like to know if your cards can tell what was so off-putting about me that threw my husband over the edge. I love him very much and would take him back without question.—Midnight in GA Dear Midnight: Your cards reveal a marriage that was doomed from the start. Even though you did not mention it, I see that your husband was coerced into the marriage. When you told him of your pregnancy, he was seeing you and another woman. He cared for you, but he was not in love with you and certainly not at the stage of marriage. He resented knuckling down to a marriage from the outset and viewed it as a trap of sorts. As his feelings festered, he became more distant. Consider it a blessing that you did not spend your whole life in an unfilled marriage. Neither of you has ever been truly happy with your union, but I see that you are blaming yourself for everything that has happened. He bears much of the blame because he never immersed himself in your family life, and he insisted that you cater to him and his wishes. You did everything to keep him mildly pleased and had begun to resent him and his paltry demands. So, there was nothing disastrous about you that ruined your marriage. He never wanted it at all. That was the problem. This will be a difficult holiday season, but you will endure and move on. Next year will offer up several possibilities. Take your time and enjoy. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her website at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: On New Year’s Eve, I will celebrate one year of bliss with my current boyfriend. We met at a mutual friend’s party last year, and I believe he will ask me to be his wife on New Year’s Eve because he is a true romantic. He is everything I’ve ever wanted, and we are temperamentally well suited for each other. We have talked of getting married, but I would like to know if your cards reveal the engagement to be before year’s end.—Loving Dexter Dear Loving Dexter: I can tell you that he will propose sometime soon, but I can’t determine if it’s before the end of the year. From the layout of your spread and the position of two major cards, I would expect you to have a ring by the spring of 2005. He has a few minor hurtles to jump, but he has the solutions well in hand. I do see a loving, harmonious relationship between you two, and the Sun shines brightly in your future. Let me know what the New Year brings. Dear Betty B: I met you recently at a book store in Tampa, Florida, and I bought two of your books—Wired for Murder and The Whitlow Sanction. I have read them both and was astonished by the wide difference in your subject matter. While both books were thoroughly intriguing, I think it’s unusual in our environment that a writer is able to cover such detailed, broad-ranging material and garner the appeal to a crossover market. Kudos to you. Now, on to my question. I have a man in my life who is similar to one of your characters in Wired for Murder—Dr. Jimmy Miller. My friend, too, is good looking, charismatic, and women are drawn to him. I consider him one of my dearest friends, but I’m also very attracted to him as a man and to his outgoing personality and integrity. What do you see in the cards for us? Will we be forever friends or will there be a more personal bonding?—Hooked in Tampa Bay Dear Hooked in Tampa Bay: This was an easy Tarot card spread to read. Your friend is very attracted to you, but he has not pursued the relationship because he values your friendship and wants nothing to hamper it. He’s of the opinion that his personal feelings could destroy what you have, and he’s afraid to chance it. Also, he has no conceivable idea how you feel about him as a future partner, and he’s afraid of your rejection. I see that you will be successful in making your feelings known because I feel the connection, plus, the cards point the way to harmony and love…and it won’t be long. G’on girl! You’re on the right track. Let us know how it all turns out. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her website at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: Where has all the time gone? I am a sixty-four-year-old woman who has enjoyed the bulk of her life, but sadly, nothing seems as it should. I have lost two husbands, two children, and one grandchild during the last twenty years, and I see nothing of consequence happening for me before I close my eyes. My former therapist could not help me overcome this constant oppression. I have thought of ending the pain, but I know, deep down, that would simply change one hell on earth for another of its kind somewhere else. Bottom line, what do your cards say is in store for me during the upcoming year? --No Way Out Dear No Way Out: Your current malaise is a burden you have carried unnecessarily for most of your life. Should you not seek proper medical attention to relieve your melancholy, your upcoming year will be disastrous. With appropriate care, I see you taking advantage of an opportunity to offer your talents to a number of people in a most unusual manner. I see some form of creative endeavor filling the void in your life. You are a woman with diverse interests, and you have remarkable artistic flair. Your skills are bursting to be shared, but you need help before you’re able to reach out to others. Your depression is a long-term affliction that, to my surprise, has neither been diagnosed nor medically treated. Year 2005 will be your best year ever! I see you surrounded by and involved with young people in a teaching endeavor. Your former professional life did not tap into your creative nature; therefore, you have been unfilled and unknowingly searching in that regard. Hooray for you! I see you satisfied and active, with a brand new outlook on life. Congratulations are in order. You will do exactly what you were meant to do—bring joy and life to others, and, in addition, your fortitude and determination will bring about a whole new career. Keep us posted. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her website at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com Dear Betty B: I am writing you because you are my very last hope. I am a twenty-three-year old female who suffers a self-destructive fate. On Thanksgiving of last year, just two months ago, my fiancé of one year and I called it quits. It was my doing. This is not the first time I have destroyed a perfectly good relationship. It seems that as soon as the time nears for me to walk down the aisle, I run and hide. Three weeks after our separation, I fell head over heels in love with someone else. This, also, is not the first time that has happened. I suffer no heart pangs or remorse. In fact, the opposite is true. I am thrilled with the new relationship and haven°Øt given my former fianc_ another thought. My family and friends are totally disheartened by my repeated actions, and my mother has threatened to disown me. Am I totally self-centered or am I afraid of settling down? Please consult your cards. I°Øm in need of desperate help.°™Loco in Tampa Dear Loco: Your cards have handed me your script, and you°Øre spoiled by those who surround you, but most of all, you°Øre not only not ready to tie the knot, you abhor the idea. This you know. You are not in love with this new man. He°Øs merely serving as your excuse to dodge your issues. I see that you have never loved anyone but yourself. It°Øs you and you alone that concern you. For now, I would refrain from a personal relationship in any guise. All of your °?great loves°± have been men found on the rebound. Your driving force is that you°Øre in love for all the wrong reasons°¶the exhilaration that comes with all things new and your far-fetched expectation that you°Øve found the one who will fulfill your dreams. Make no mistake about it, you are the only one who will make you remotely happy. Take a back seat for now, because now is not your time. Dear Sweating the Small Stuff: Hooray for you! You have finally seen the light. If you can adjust your thinking, you are destined to win the battle. Step up your efforts. You will find what you seek. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever considered writing a columnist for advice, but, at this stage, I’m desperate. My wedding date is set for April 16, 2005, and my mother has just about wrapped everything up. A great deal of money has already been expended, and still, all the bills have not been settled. Here is the problem: I’ve changed my mind. My fiancé is a wonderful man, a successful entrepreneur, and is considered by all to be quite a catch. I am not in love with him and now realize that I never was. I would break the engagement today if it were not for my mother. She has done a fantastic job with the wedding details and has looked forward to this moment for as long as I can remember. I shutter to think of the outlay of money that has gone into her efforts. Please consult your cards and let me know the least intrusive way to handle this predicament. Time is of the essence.—On the Brink Dear On the Brink: I hate to tell you, but there is no “least intrusive” manner for you in these circumstances. Your best bet is to bite the bullet now. Perhaps a portion of the funds might be retrieved. This is not the first time a prospective bride has found herself in similar circumstances. Although you may be reluctant to disappoint your mother, I’m sure she would prefer your future happiness to a life of misery for you on any day. Inform your fiancé as well as your parents of your feelings immediately. You will have to suffer the pangs of your mother’s unfulfilled dreams or perhaps a period of embarrassment, but this is your future and nothing you face or endure will be as bad as proceeding with this union. Good luck and God bless. Dear BJ: Think of all the good that will come of your decision. You have done as much as humanly possible. You have saved the day. Now, it’s your time to pursue your dreams. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I am a member of a new book club, and your book, The Whitlow Sanction: Volume I, was the second novel we read. I could barely wait to write you. This is one of the most fascinating books I have ever encountered. We found the events you wrote about to be current and entirely possible in light of the present state of the world. Congratulations to you and whichever character collaborated with you on bringing this story to light. Even though it is a work of fiction, perhaps it will open our eyes to the depth of planning that goes on behind closed doors during what most of us view as everyday events we see in the media. I have always been convinced that we are given only minimal information on most things we see, especially on important political decisions. Our club has compiled a list of varied books that we would like to read for 2005, and we have The Big Payback listed for March and your other novels scattered throughout the year. We have agreed to remain flexible and are reserving a place for The Whitlow Sanction: Volume II. What can we expect from you this year? Hopefully, volume II will be included.—Book Club Fan Dear Book Club Fan: I am delighted that you and the members of your book club enjoyed the book. With the “Whitlow” trilogy being my most detailed creation to date, look for it late this year, hopefully, during the Christmas season. I am in the final stages of the last book of the murder trilogy, Wired Straight, which is expected for publication in the next few months. A second edition of my first book, Wired for Murder, will be released shortly thereafter, then volume II of the “Whitlow” trilogy will make its debut, if all goes as planned. Let me hear from you as you complete my other books. Here’s to my fondest wishes for you and your book club members. Dear Home Bound in Brandon: Rarely is anything exactly as it appears. Your situation attests to that, but you have survived and have done so magnificently. Good luck to you in the coming months. I have no doubt you will come out on top. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site, www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My girlfriend and I have lived together for the last two years, and I am at the stage of leaving. You probably hear this all the time, but she has changed completely. In fact, over the last several weeks, we have shared different bedrooms. Our lease is expiring in the next couple of months, and I plan to leave as soon as possible thereafter. I have told her of my feelings and my plans, hoping against hope that she will make some changes in how she relates to me. She believes our relationship has suffered because since we have been together, she has received her master’s degree, been promoted, and her salary has doubled. She says that I am unable to accept her as she is and that I resent her success. I agree that her success has hampered our relationship, but not because of what she says. It’s because she continually throws her achievements before me in an effort to prove that she has been the one to better enhance our future. That has not been the case. I am a high school graduate, and I believe she is ashamed of my position as head garage mechanic at a local gas station. From the comments she has made, she would prefer a college-educated professional whose position and salary exceed hers. I have worked hard to hold us together and to save in order to ask for her hand in marriage. I am not in competition with her regarding her job or her money. We are not engaged, but we have discussed marriage in the future. Please tell me what you see in your cards for us.—T.P. Dear T.P.: Your Tarot card reading could not have been clearer. I see the two of you going your separate ways because neither of you is ready to change in order to make the relationship work. She does want to be financially established before she walks down the aisle, and she does not see that happening with you. Although you have denied any competitiveness, I do see that you harbor resentment and have tried to move into other areas in your career, but you have had no success. Both of you know that this relationship has gone as far as it can. Furthermore, it appears that you have seen someone else who has piqued your interest. If there is any way for you to leave before your lease expires, you will part without further damage to the liaison and to your psyche. Staying another two months will guarantee further battles and make the parting that much more difficult. I wish you the very best. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My twelve-year-old son is in serious trouble. He has harbored a secret for two years, and from all accounts, it has caused severe mental problems that will more than likely stay with him for the rest of his life. When he was ten, he found his father (my husband) and another woman in a compromising position. His father swore him to secrecy and, since that time, has elicited our son’s help in creating lies and excuses to meet her. This has caused many problems for our son, and he is currently undergoing professional counseling, but to date, his situation has not improved. My first clue to his problems was the deterioration of his relationship with his father. Shortly thereafter, his grades began to suffer. A call from the school revealed that he’d begun to skip school with new acquaintances whom he would have never befriended before. As a last ditch effort, we spent two days alone together at Disney World. The news of his father’s affair surfaced during that time. To make matters worse, his father and I are now separated, and he blames himself. It’s been a most difficult time for all involved, but at this time, his mental health is my concern. What do you see in your cards regarding him and his future?—Frightened Mom Dear Frightened Mom: l see a slow progression for your son. Should he continue his counseling, you will see positive changes in his behavior, but he will always bear the scar of his deception. Your divorce will also weigh heavily upon him. His distrust of his father will be a lifelong struggle, but with your continued love and support and his counselor’s help, he will begin to understand that none of what has occurred has been his fault, but it will take years to reach this point. I see you hesitating about your divorce. Don’t give it another thought. Rid yourself of that problem as soon as possible, then move on with your life. Your husband is the source of all the heartache, and should you continue with him, you’re in for further trauma. Good luck and God bless. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I wrote to you in August of last year regarding my relationship with a married man. He contended that his wife was mentally unstable, and he feared for her safety should he leave her. Your cards revealed that this was a line he used to keep me hanging and that he had no intention of leaving her. You also said she had no mental problem and would never harm herself over anything that he might do. Here is the update. You were one hundred percent right. In fact, I did something that I am not very proud of, but it did serve the purpose for which it was intended. I sent a confidential, anonymous letter to her at her job, indicating that he was involved with someone else and gave her specific times and dates when he had been with me. She confronted him immediately with the details of the letter, and to his and my surprise, she threw him out. He felt certain that I would welcome him with open arms, but you had opened my eyes to his intentions. He is out of my life for good, and his wife has initiated divorce proceedings. Thanks to you and your Tarot reading, I was able to see the light. I still miss him terribly, but whenever I am the least bit tempted to call or see him, I re-read your column and regain my sense of will. Thanks for all that you do. I am certain that others have benefited from your advice.—Whistling Dixie Dear Whistling Dixie: Thanks for keeping me apprised of your situation. I don’t receive a lot of updates, but whenever I do, I am delighted. Keep up your courage. You have been blessed. Dear Having it All: You are the one who has made it happen, and you deserve the recognition. You did your homework up front; thereby, sidestepping the challenges you were sure to encounter. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My nineteen-year-old son is a sophomore in college and lives in the dorm an hour from home. My husband and I have had an ongoing challenge with him since eleventh grade. At that time, he became involved with a twenty-seven-year-old woman, and we found out recently that the relationship continues. While in high school, we thought we were in full control of the situation, but he deceived us on every front. The relationship has blossomed. In fact, they’re more involved than ever. They see each other every weekend and sometimes during the week. When we confronted him about this involvement last weekend by phone, he admitted that he was in love with her and that they were planning to be married as soon as the semester ends. His father was furious and told him that we would no longer offer monetary support. He’d anticipated our decision and said he had everything in hand and would continue with his studies on his own. He hung up by saying that he expected nothing further from us. We are terribly distraught but feel as though there is nothing further we can do. I regret that he curtailed his relationships with his peers so early in life and fear that he will regret it later. What do you see for him in your cards?—Miffed in Tennessee Dear Miffed: At this stage, you have done all that you can do. From what I see, he and the woman will move ahead with their plans. I know this is not what you want to hear, but I see them very happy for years to come. As far as he is concerned, the only way you could possibly make amends is to accept his decision and offer your apologies for your actions. Dear Misguided Lover: How refreshing to see someone who willingly accepts the blame, but in your case, it’s a two-way street. I see her on the verge of coming around. Sit tight. You will get your wish. Happy trails. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My sixteen-year-old daughter has given us much for which we’re thankful, but over the last six months, she has been a surprising terror. Before her decline, she was an honor student who participated in a variety of school organizations and functions. Seemingly overnight, she withdrew from her lifelong friends and activities and now has become a groupie to an over-the-edge, motorcycle-riding eighteen-year-old, barely in-school derelict. We are beside ourselves with how she has regressed. My husband and I have done everything imaginable to bring her to heel, but she has defied us on every front. When we disallowed her dating privileges, she slipped from the house in the dead of night to meet this young man. We are at our wit’s end with her, and just recently, I found a bag of marijuana underneath her underwear. When confronted, she said marijuana was something she smoked occasionally to relieve the stress that we have placed on her at home. In all honesty, we expected her to excel in her studies, but we don’t think it was too much to ask of a teenager who had nothing to do but maintain her grades. We are thinking of sending her to live with my sister and her seventeen-year-old daughter whom she admires, hoping to get her away from “Tom” and help her regain her footing. She has said that should we follow through with that plan, she would disappear and we would never see her again. What do your cards reveal regarding how we should handle this situation?—Perplexed in Miami Dear Perplexed: Your Tarot spread is quite explicit. Although your husband and you had the best intentions, your daughter required more structure in her daily life. She is not a person who can be left to her own devices for very long. It seems that your careers hamper the time you spend with her. When not held accountable for her time and only for her grades, she strayed, finding this influential, charismatic character a cure-all for the loneliness that she feels. This is not an irreversible situation. Yes, she finds “Tom” to be everything that she needs at the moment, but she also knows how far she has allowed him to turn her around. Sending her away will not solve the problem. She needs the attention and love that she feels she has been denied. It is imperative that you and your husband devote the time and energy to help her through this crisis. Her dabbling into the world of drugs is a definite cry for help. I see you and your husband employing your spiritual intuitiveness to bring her back into the fold. Should you effect the necessary changes, I see sunshine radiating in your lives. Good luck and God bless. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My husband and I have a problem that has caused our marriage to suffer needlessly. Recently, I found copies of pornographic magazines in an old trunk of his. When I confronted him about it, he said the magazines were something that he enjoyed, and the reason he hid them was because he knew that I would be hurt. He was right. I was not only hurt, I was humiliated. In my view, I think he is not getting what he wants from his relationship with me. He said that he is totally fulfilled in the marriage and that many men enjoy these books. What exactly do you in your cards concerning this situation?—Doubting Thelma Dear Doubting Thelma: Your husband is right about other men reading and enjoying pornographic material. From your cards, I see that your husband does love you very much and is satisfied in the relationship. I also see that, although satisfied, he is not totally fulfilled. He would like to be more adventurous, but he fears you will reject him. The solution I see is that you both talk through your feelings as quickly as possible. Through honest communication and compromise, this mountain will gradually become the molehill it was destined to be. I also see that once the wheels have been put into motion, you two will experience a new plateau. Happy trails to you. Dear Smack Dab in the Middle: You’ve done your best and are now reaping the profits. No need to concern yourself about the outcome. You have used your God-given talents and have elevated yourself far beyond your wildest dreams. Now is the time to sit back and enjoy. You deserve all you have and everything else that’s on its way. Betty Bradford Byers is an inspirational speaker. Her books can be found on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I wrote you over a year ago, in December 2003, to be exact. It was about the Vice President of our division. He’d asked me on several occasions to meet with him away from work. I had had the distinct impression that he was up to no good, but he’d been shrewd enough to disguise his motives. I didn’t know how to handle this challenge, and you advised me to refuse to meet him alone. I did as you suggested and underwent three months of ostracism, but it has all turned out extremely well. Here’s the latest update. He was recently fired because of his long-standing harassment. To my surprise, I was not alone. Three other women came forward with his actions and won the battle. Hurray to you and your Tarot cards. Had I not written you, I would not have had the courage to refuse him. Had I known of the class-action suit, I would have joined the team, but it was done in secrecy. Keep up the good work. My friends and I never miss your column.—Decided Dear Decided: You’ve made my day! Thank you for taking the time to let me know of your and the other women’s success. Here’s another example of reaping what is sown. Dear Abigail: You are your own woman. Your actions have proved it, and you deserve the best. His actions could not have been more blatant. Good luck on your new journey. Betty Bradford Byers is an author and inspirational speaker. Her books are available at her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing. com. Dear Betty B: My fifteen-year-old daughter is giving us a run for our money. She is currently obsessed by a twenty-four-year-old college drop out, and she is ruining our lives. My husband and I are on separate pages regarding this situation, and neither of us can do anything to control her wayward drifts. The young man comes from a decent home, but he has always been on the shady side. In high school, he was in and out of trouble with the authorities and served several years in the reformatory. Please help in anyway you can, but I am desperately interested in what your Tarot cards predict.—Lost in Florida Dear Lost in Florida: The cards clearly show that your daughter is screaming for your and your husband’s attention. From what I can see, both of your careers have taken you far from home and also away from the family mold. The young man in question is shrewd and determined to have his way with your young daughter and has far overstepped his boundaries. You and your husband have dropped the ball, and your daughter is suffering the consequences. Your only recourse now is to devote your undivided attention to your daughter’s well being and see that she gets immediate psychiatric help. She has veered far from her path, but the situation still has hope. It is imperative that you seek guidance now. Good luck to all of you. It is a touch-and-go affair, but the reins are now in your hands. Dear Atlanta Gale: Nothing in your sphere is as it seems. You have been warned before. Should you not take heed, your life will not be your own. Please take the high road on this; otherwise, you will spend much of the rest of your life regretting what you let slip through your open hand. Betty Bradford Byers is an author and inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My book club has read both of the published books in your “Murder” trilogy, Wired for Murder and Murder Unwired. We are waiting the release of the final book in this series, Wired Straight and would like to know when to expect it. We thought it was going to be in April 2005, but we haven’t seen anything, as of yet, on your web site about it. We have enjoyed following the characters and seeing how they have grown, and we recently voted to read all of your books this year, but we would like to finish this trilogy before we move on to your other two trilogies. We are a Tampa-based group and have enjoyed your presence at each of our book club discussions. We would like to schedule Wired Straight for our July meeting and would like you conduct the discussion as you’ve done for the other two books. Should we expect its publication by then?—Looking Forward Dear Looking Forward: Thank you for your kind remarks. Wired Straight will be sent to the publisher in April, and it will be available for purchase in June 2005. Look for details of its content on my web site at www.BettyByers.com as well as a bulletin on my publisher’s web site at www.BanyonPublishing.com. This final book will bring many surprises, and I would be happy to share the characters’ ending experiences with you as well as the other books in my repertoire. Looking forward to seeing all of you again. Dear Blue: Congratulations. Good news is always a delight. Your dedication and ability to hold out for what you wanted paid off in spades. Your new arrival will seize the day, so be prepared for another round of changes. Hats off to you. Betty Bradford Byers is an author and inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My husband and I are devastated. He went in a few weeks ago for his annual physical, and earlier this week, we were told that he is HIV-positive. I have not been able to get out of bed. We were both thrown into a down-spiraling pit and can’t seem to dig ourselves out. I’ve taken every test known to man and have been told that there is no sign of this fatal disease. As I’ve been warned, this disease takes time to show its face, years most times. I don’t think I can ever forgive him for bringing this into our lives, but he contends that he has never indulged in any form of risky behavior. Needless to say, I don’t believe him, and I feel caught in his trap. One part of me wants to run away and hide, and the other part keeps me rooted in place. We’ve kept this secret to ourselves, fearing ostracism by our friends and family. Please help. What do your cards show will happen to our marriage? I believe I still love him, but I cannot get beyond our current circumstances.—Secret Lover? Dear Secret Lover?: I see no evidence of a secret lover in your husband’s past, but I do see evidence of prior drug use with both you and your husband. As I’m sure your doctor has told you, communal use of certain drug paraphernalia could be the cause of your problems. I see that once you adjust to your situation, you will give your husband the support he will need. I also see a drug that will work well with his chemistry and offer him much needed relief in his fight to contain the damage this disease wreaks. Good luck and God bless. Dear All-About-Town: You’ve gone as far is humanly possible. Give it a rest. When you accept your fate, you work in harmony with the cosmos. You have had a good ride. Rein in your activities. You’ve had your share. Betty Bradford Byers is an author and inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: This is a cry for help. Our sixteen-year-old daughter who has always been the head of every thing she has belonged to has, whether at church or at school, seemingly has lost her self esteem. She has withdrawn from everyone and everything that once held her interest. I am seeking your help in what appears to be a psychological issue. She is five-feet-seven and she weighs ninety-eight pounds. A few months ago, she weighed what I thought to be a healthy one hundred and seventeen pounds, and we cannot understand what has happened. My husband and I have taken her to several doctors, and they all diagnosed her as being anorexic. I noticed a chance in her appetite when she and her boyfriend broke up five months ago. Since that time, she has responded neither to us nor her doctors’ heeding. She has lost all zest for life. We are currently planning on seeking further help in an institution that is specifically designed for people affected by this dreaded disease. My question to you what do you see as the outcome of this ordeal. Any direction you give would be greatly appreciated.—Fighting to Win Dear Fighting: From the cards I have before me, your daughter has long been a perfectionist and has suffered from a lack of self-confidence. She is a consummate actress as many are who are affected by this disease. I see her coming through with flying colors, but it is imperative that you seek the advanced help that she needs. The breakup with her boyfriend was the straw that broke her back. Since she has always fought to be first in line in everything that she pursued, her failure to turn the tide in her relationship with him threw her over the edge. I do see, however, that she wants to wrench herself from the pain that she’s suffering, and she has begun to slowly regain her sense of self. The road will be long and difficult, but with your support, she’ll tamp down her demons and resume her zeal. Best wishes to all of you. Betty Bradford Byers is an author and inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www. BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I am an avid reader of your column and a deeply spiritual person. This request is different from most I’ve seen published by you. I am a thirty-four-year-old, unmarried woman who has been given, at most, a year to live. Although my body is wracked with pain and disease, through this letter, I am reaching out to the only man who has ever claimed my heart. We have been friends for many years, but he has no idea how I really feel about him. He is also a spiritual believer and, too, reads your weekly column, so I know he will see this as soon as it is published. He will know, without question, who I am. Because of my circumstances, I realize that our relationship has no future, but before I leave this earth, I want him to know how much I love and respect him and his loving spirit. He is a kind and generous person who has spent his life giving to others who are less fortunate than he. This is the first time I have ever admitted how much he means to me. My admiration, long ago, turned to love. I expect nothing from him except his continuing friendship. I would never have been able to express to him how I feel in person, and this is why I’ve chosen this public announcement. One question for your Tarot cards: How will this admission affect our relationship? That has been my only concern.—In Loving Memory Dear In Loving Memory: This is one of the most poignant letters I have ever received. Your cards are a testament to your loving spirit. Your friend will be immensely touched. He cares for you deeply, and after reading your letter, he will reveal all he has left unsaid to you. Because of varying circumstances, both on your as well as his part, he has never found the right time to share his feelings. From what I see, your admission will unleash the dam. Surprisingly, he has harbored the same feelings for you, and your confession will give him the courage to set free what he has hidden within his heart. I also see an offer of marriage and your initial hesitancy to accept. Miracles never cease to exist and overwhelm. Good luck and much happiness to both of you. Betty Bradford Byers is an author and inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: I met the most marvelous man two years ago who lives in San Francisco. I live in Atlanta, but we have seen each many times since his job brings him here on a monthly basis. He has never invited me to visit him in San Francisco although I have indicated my willingness to do so on several occasions. There has always been some reason it wouldn’t work—other professional commitments, namely. I find his refusals upsetting as well as humiliating and have wondered if there is some other reason why he does not want me to visit in his fair city. Please consult your Tarot cards. Are his excuses legitimate?—Doubtful Anne Dear Doubtful Anne: Don’t waste your time. Your young man is not all that he is cracked up to be. From what I have discerned from your reading, he is involved with several others, and your visit would impede his progress with all involved, including you. He is the proverbial traveling salesman…has a woman in every port. I do see him seriously involved with another, but I do not see that relationship moving too far from where it is. He is known far and wide as a man who hits and runs. His full-fledged womanizing has caused him much distress, but it’s an illness that he can’t control. Nothing he says amounts to much other than to further his own manipulative means, so you would do yourself a favor if you called a halt to this ill-fated union. From what I see, you will not heed this advice. You will believe that you can change him, but you have not been, nor will you be, the one to re-direct his behavior. Underneath it all, he hates his duplicitous actions, but he is helpless to change them. Sadly, in the not too distant future, he will meet one who will stop him in his tracks. I wish there were something I could say to erase him from your heart, but you will stubbornly pursue your course. Good luck to you. Betty Bradford Byers is an author and inspirational speaker. Her books can be found on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing.com. Dear Betty B: My older sister and I have been at odds for years. Since my father has seemingly preferred me over the rest of the children for most of my life, she has resented me in the worst way. I believe because I was a high achiever, both in my studies and in my physical activities, my father was adamant about encouraging my inner drive. I have not spoken to my sister in nearly two years. We are both married with children, and I have reached out to her on several occasions, but she has never responded; consequently, it has caused deep fissions within the family. I have written her several letters, all explaining my sorrow at how our relationship has deteriorated and affected our siblings and parents, but she ignores them completely. Just recently, she invited the family to her home for a huge dinner she gave in honor of our parents’ forty-fifth anniversary, but I did not receive an invitation. My brother said my husband and I were included, but we did not attend since we did not receive a personal invitation as they did. What do you see in the Tarot cards for this situation? Is there anything else I can do?—Sisterly Love Dear Sisterly Love: You are right. Your sister has long resented the special treatment you received from your father. She has great feelings of inadequacy that were escalated because she felt your father’s rejection; however, that was not your doing. Your father did show his favoritism, but your other siblings chalked it up as your being the youngest, a fact that you failed to mention but I gleaned from the cards. Your reading was most emphatic. Only a direct encounter will prove beneficial. Your sister loves you very much, and only when she sees you face-to-face will she be able to release her pent-up feelings and the two of you can bring the relationship back to its rightful place. I see good tidings for the two of you, but because you are the stronger one, you must extend yourself again. Your sister has been mired in self-pity and insecurity and has not been able to find the strength to move beyond it. Have no fear. She is ready to make amends. Betty Bradford Byers is an author and inspirational speaker. Her books are available on her web site at www.BettyByers.com, and she is published by Banyon Publishing, Inc. at www.BanyonPublishing. com Dear Betty B: Approximately a month ago, you helped me make one of the most important decisions of my life. Because I had just finished reading your book, The Arcana Connection, I was inspired to visit your web site. It was there that I saw this column and your Tarot card reading section. After much debate, I contacted you and had my first reading and was amazed at how accurate it was. Looking back, I now know that I was in doubt of what it would reveal. This letter is to let you know how impressed I was about the whole Tarot card-reading process. In my mind, I had created an unholy ceremony or some sort of evil devil worship when, in fact, the reading seemed very much akin to a conversation with a friend, with you revealing my innermost thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Most of what you revealed had never been shared with anyone. I felt as though you spread a blanket of my life’s activities before me and directed my course. For all of you who are in doubt of what the Tarot entails, trust me, it is far from what you might think. There were no sacrilegious comments or predictions, only a trail of insight that you as the seeker probably have refused to see. Thank you for removing the scales from my eyes and allowing me to see the light of day. Your revelations gave me the courage to act, and for that, I am truly grateful.—Doubting Julia Dear Doubting Julia: What a refreshing viewpoint. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am always uplifted by the benefits the Tarot brings. Your description of the whole Tarot-reading process was succinct and on target. It is merely a tool for guidance, not a medium to be shunned and suppressed. Good luck to you in moving forward with your plight. Dear Danny Blue: Nothing is ever quite as it seems, especially when it comes to such highly emotional matters. You took the time to reassess your decision and came out on the winning end. Good riddance and happy trails. Be |